feeling down? crying for no reason? how about this:
when your boyfriend comes over to cheer you up and you snot all over him and cry more when he sings to you and reads you a poem, suggest that you both go smoke a cigarette and then let him close the door, because you know he won’t check to make sure that the door is unlocked and you don’t have your keys. then, when you’re good and locked out of your house, skip the locksmith! let your boyfriend break into your house for you because you have that one window that doesn’t lock and all he has to do is break the screen that you’re going to have to replace anyway because your cat likes to try to catch the squirrels outside the window in the summer time. push up the window and let your boyfriend wiggle into your house! make sure that a few passersby are there to ask whether you are actually breaking into your own house - you can make lighthearted, aw-shucks jokes at them! once he gets in, make sure he grabs your keys AND the door is unlocked for good measure, and have yourselves a congratulatory, non-weepy cigarette to celebrate! yay! you are cheered right up! also, you shouldn’t let your boyfriend work the door anymore - that guy will get you locked out one day for sure.